Selling Large Bags of Tart Green Apples!
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This thread makes me wonder what other jewels of awesome I missed out on by turning up to the party late.
If only all necros were this entertaining to read, I'm looking at YOU Detailed Overview thread. == Officially Retired 27/02/2019 ==
Massive thanks to GGG for producing such a fun and engaging game, it has taken up faaaaaaar too much of my life over the last 5 years. Best of luck in the future! |
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" You missed the fishing derbies, baby rhoa pets, kiwi pets. And most importantly, the game being hard. Like players crying about the dogs in the docks being hard. There comes a time thief when jewels cease to sparkle, gold loses it's luster, throne room becomes a prison, and all that's left is a father's love for his child. - King Osric
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 Me: Hey Chris. Been a while. Still got those big bags of tart green apples? I don't see any. Chris: Sure do! New and improved! Right here. Me: Um, those aren't green. They're... gold. Chris: Well, we've added a really shiny luminescent gloss to the skin of the apples. We think it looks a lot better. Me: ... Is it edible? Chris: Of course. It's a sugar base. It makes the apples four times sweeter. Me: But I thought they were tart apples. Chris: They still are. We didn't change the core apple, we just layered a bunch of things on top of it. People are loving it! Me: Man, that gloss is really something else. Any way I could have some which aren't so shiny? Chris: Sorry, we think it's important that everyone see the apples as we intended. Me: Did you add anything else to them? Chris: Well, we've added lots of stuff in the past. Take a look at these babies! Me: What are those? Chris: These are our special Flashback apples. They come with the golden coating I was telling you about, plus at least three more which we've used in the past! Me: So even more coatings? Chris: Yes! The coated apples have become our biggest seller. They've been so popular we've just kept making more and more! We make more off the coatings than we make off of the apples now. Me: Hold on. Didn't you say once that you wouldn't alter the composition of the apples for money? Chris: It might seem that way, but we really just like making new coatings. We like doing that even more than we like perfecting our tart green apples. Me: ... Well, good luck with that. I'm going to go, um, listen to this week's Jim Sterling rant. Chris: Thank God for him! Farewell. When Stephen Colbert was killed by HYDRA's Project Insight in 2014, the comedy world lost a hero. Since his life model decoy isn't up to the task, please do not mistake my performance as political discussion. I'm just doing what Steve would have wanted. Last edited by ScrotieMcB on May 17, 2016, 2:11:28 AM
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Nice addition ScrotieMcB. Underlying message is accurate and it's written just like OPs post. Thanks for taking the time to write and share it.
"The key to winning any fight is simply staying alive."
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Because ascendancy wasn't a huge addition to the core game lol
Spoiler
mostly I'm posting in this thread so I remember it forever[/spoiler
builds: https://www.pathofexile.com/forum/view-thread/1663570/
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While it is a good time to necro this thread, some people here are little bit too dramatic... :V
Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.
Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge. https://joeduncan123.imgur.com https://joeduncan1234.imgur.com | |
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Seems like Chris' apples are to tart fo your taste...
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"Every joke I made except one was on-topic. The graphics settings joke was too easy to resist. :p When Stephen Colbert was killed by HYDRA's Project Insight in 2014, the comedy world lost a hero. Since his life model decoy isn't up to the task, please do not mistake my performance as political discussion. I'm just doing what Steve would have wanted.
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" You forgot the random lines with supporters throwing money at GGG :P The Wheel of Nerfs turns, and builds come and pass, leaving memories that become legend. Legend fades to myth, and even myth is long forgotten when the build that gave it birth comes again.
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"I didn't forget, I just couldn't find a way to make it funny. If I could have figured a way to work it in but didn't... well, that would be pretty regrettable. When Stephen Colbert was killed by HYDRA's Project Insight in 2014, the comedy world lost a hero. Since his life model decoy isn't up to the task, please do not mistake my performance as political discussion. I'm just doing what Steve would have wanted. Last edited by ScrotieMcB on May 17, 2016, 11:13:37 AM
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