Translation Preview (FR, DE, PT)

"

Rhalph wrote:

It's a poem, so there's a capital letter at the start of the "line":

"

Le Bestel que Tarkleigh a secouru un matin
Était un homme dévasté, esclave du destin.
Sans équipage et privé de barque,
Bestel survit grâce à Tark… leigh

Oh yes sorry , you are right , i forget it was a poem.

"

cutt wrote:

PS. Kinda funny reading your post criticizing Russians for bad English, yet yours is not really that better.

Sure it isnt, but atleast i try.

"

Sneakypaw wrote:

"

Mini_Me wrote:

"

Onepencilarmy wrote:

Great job so far guys but I'm a little concerned about the french translation.
I think your way of translating suffers from a too straight translation. It is lacking some "old french" words, turn of phrase wich lead to a lack of past ages flavor. Your are missing a way to strengthen the medieval-ish/fantasy background. It is a too simplistic or a too common french.

The same goes for the german translation. Especially the use of the informal "du" as translation for "you" is absolutely unfitting in a fantasy game like poe.

For example:

Original Nessa, on meeting the Witch

Ich habe gesehen was du Hillock da draußen angetan hast, Hexe. Deine Schwarze Kunst ist der Grund, warum du hier im Exil bist. Sie ist es aber womöglich auch, die dich den nächsten Morgen erleben lässt. Ich bin Nessa. Ich schätze ich schulde dir Dank dafür, dass du uns von diesem grässlichen Riesen befreit hast. Damals in Oriath habe ich deine Artgenossen, ohne zu zögern, verurteilt. In Wraeclast habe ich diesen Luxus nicht.

sounds imo much better this way:

Altered Nessa, on meeting the Witch

Ich sah was Ihr da draußen mit Hillock gemacht habt, Hexe. Eure schwarze Magie ist der Grund, warum Ihr hier im Exil seid. Sie ist womöglich aber auch das Einzige, das Euch hier den nächsten Morgen erleben lässt. Ich bin Nessa und ich schätze ich schulde Euch Dank dafür, dass ihr uns von diesem grässlichen Monstrum befreit habt. In Oriath habe ich Euresgleichen ohne zu zögern verurteilt. Hier in Wraeclast ist mir dieser Luxus nicht vergönnt.

These are people in Exile, Criminals mostly. Do you think they give a shit about honorifics?

I think "du" is totally fine.

/agree

I also think honorifics should be rarely used when adressing an exile

Hi!
The french translation is shaping up really well. Congratulations!
It's a delight to read such a good result for such a tricky task.

I can't help but remember the extremely weird generated items names from Diablo 2 ;-) If you come up with a solution for that, you'll deserve a gigantic medal! Good luck!

Here's some feedback about the excellent translation:

"Tarkleigh, on Hillock"
[…] Il nous a été volé par Dominus à l'instant où sa Garde noire nous a jetés à l'eau. […] («a jeté» relates to "where" («à l’eau») and not "who". (Unless I'm wrong ;) )
"Tarkleigh, on Lioneye's Watch"
L'avant-poste de Lioneye… (unless you want to use it as a proper noun) […] Une dalle de locomancie.[…]
locomancy -> locomancie seems perfectly fine used as a neologism (same latin ethymology)

"Eramir, on the Fellshrine"
Le Sanctuaire déchu est un vestige de ce qu'il y eut un jour de bon à Wraeclast. Le sigil gravé dans les pierres ? C'est un occulus qui date de l'époque où les templiers défendaient de vraies valeurs. […]

I'm confused about that sigil. It should be a symbol/seal etched in the stone? In french, an oculus (only one "c" - probably a typo) is known as a circular opening in the centre of a dome or in a wall. I'm not sure what Eramir refers to but if it's a symbol, "oculus" is misleading. And I can't think of a french translation for "Descry".

About Yeena: From my experience the tone she uses indicates a rough/simplified english. Yeena seems to express her ideas very directly, like some oracle. The french translation doesn't reflect that. I think it's too grammatically correct (formal) to preserve that "primitive" tone.

"

"Yeena, introducing herself"
Je suis Yeena, la gardienne de l'Esprit. Fais-tu partie des exilés, comme Eramir ? Il est gentil et nous aide beaucoup. Vas-tu rester nous aider toi aussi ?
"Yeena, on the Great White Beast"
Dans ses rêves, une bête nous poursuit. Une grande bête blanche, torturée et rendue folle par des hommes mauvais, il y a longtemps de cela. Une nuit, elle viendra pour déchirer, écraser, dévorer. Sa douleur l'y oblige. Trouve la bête blanche et mets fin à sa souffrance, avant qu'elle ne décide de nous la faire partager.

Empire Éternel, Garde Noire and such may keep the upper-case used as proper nouns. (that's an humble suggestion)

About "you" = «vous/tu»:
That's a common tricky part when it comes to the protagonists/player relationship. In french, «tu» is very familiar and used between close relatives. I can't think Piety would use that form to speak to the exiles.
The other exiles in the Lioneye's camp may use that kind of familiarity as they are (were) on the same boat, though.
But it should be used carefully as it's a way to speak to the player. In games, medias, public, «tu» is generally used when your target audience is composed of kids.
It's a tone choice but it could lead to a communication discomfort.

Thanks for reading!

"

ReddoHoku wrote:

Hey Rhys,

Here's some feedback on the Portuguese translation:

Excellent suggestions, I back ReddoHoku up. Regarding PT_BR versus PT_PT, I agree that if we can avoid strong regionalisms of Brazil, it is a good thing: not only helps the game to be accepted across the whole country, and can be less hard on our Portuguese (as in Portugal) friends. However, if it is PT_BR, is is Brazilian Portuguese, and it should be treated as such.

Thanks a lot GGG for this. Although I'll probably keep playing in English, this is very helpful to gather even more players here in Brazil.

A suggestion for the german translation. In the original Bestel's poem rhymes:



In the german 1:1 translation this is completely lost and doesn't rhyme, so the "…leigh" ending makes no sense at all:



I'd suggest to completely reword it to keep the sense and the rhymes and the funny ending too, like eg.:

"

Alysma wrote:

My first feedback on the German version:

Nessa, on meeting the Witch

"

Damals in Oriath habe ich deine Artgenossen, ohne zu zögern, verurteilt. In Wraeclast habe ich diesen Luxus nicht.

"Artgenossen" goes more into the direction of members of the same (animal) species. If you want to say "your kind", I would go for "deinesgleichen". If you want to make it more "pointing fingers/disapproving": "du und deinesgleichen".

I think you mean "dich und deinesgleichen".

Native speaker: german - at the ready!

Nessa, on meeting the Witch
"Artgenosse" means an animal of the same species. I'd switch to "Sorte" being usually used for humans of the same kind:
...Damals in Oriath habe ich deine Sorte, ohne zu zögern, verurteilt...
Edit: Just read the other comments. I like "dich und deinesgleichen" a lot better than "deine Sorte"

Nessa, on Rhoas
Not really wrong. Would change the second sentence to:
Aber Exilanten dürfen nicht wählerisch sein.
Because it better catches the sense of the original.
Edit: If changing "Exilanten" is an option I would go with "Verbannten" for exiles.

Bestel, on meeting the Shadow
"The name's Bestel" doesn't translate well into german. I'd go with:
"Ich bin Bestel" or "Mein Name ist Bestel"

Bestel, being poetic
Well, it doesn't rhyme. Should it? And "Rinde" for bark is plain wrong in this context. Should be "Barke" I'll try and be poetic for you:
Tarkleigh rettete aus den Wellen,
einen gebeutelten Bestel, von Todes Schwellen.
Trotz gefallener Crew und gebrochener Bark'
ist Bestel heut' am Leben, dank Tark...leigh

Tarkleigh, on Hillock
"Wir aus dem Exil" means "us from exile". Should be "Wir im Exil" meaning "us in exile". Or just stick with "Wir Exilanten".
To me "Schwarzwachen" sounds ridiculous. You were probably aiming for "Schwarze Garde". That has a menacing sound to it.

Tarkleigh, on Lioneye's Watch
locomancy should be Lokomatie. Just like necromancy is Nekromantie.
Last sentence scrap "zurück", throwing up part was ruined:
Betrete es und bist in Windeseile wieder hier...Leider kommt es mir jedesmal hoch, wenn ich dieses gottverdammte Ding benutze.

Eramir, on the Fellshrine
The first sentence should be:
Der Fellschrein ist ein Schatten von allem, was einst gut in Wraeclast war.

Eramir, on the Vaal Ruins entrance
2nd sentence. Translator seemd to think "Not of the Eternal Empire" was referring to northwest. I think it means it wasn't build by/during the Eternal Empire. Should then be:
Nicht aus dem Ewigen Kaiserreich.
5th sentence has an error in vocabulary:
Nachfahren means descendants should be: Vorfahren

Yeena, introducing herself
In the english version it appears as if she isn't using her native tongue. That is lost in the german version. Could be:
Ich bin Yeena, Hüterin der Seele. Bist du ein freundlicher Exilant, wie Eramir? Er ist gut zu uns... hilft uns. Du wirst hier bleiben und uns auch helfen, ja?

Yeena, on the Great White Beast
In simpler terms:
Eine Bestie jagt uns in ihren Träumen. Eine große, weiße Bestie, die vor langer Zeit von bösen Menschen gequält und wahnsinnig gemacht wurde. Sie wird eines Nachts herkommen, um zu zerreißen, zu zerquetschen und zu fressen. Ihr Schmerz sagt ihr, dass sie es tun soll. Finde die weiße Bestie und beende ihren Schmerz, bevor sie ihn mit uns teilt.

Best regards
Xeledon