Make a patch note that will piss everyone off.

Passive points may only be placed in 1 line is a sequential order. No longer can you branch off in several different directions creating new lines/tangents.

- Resistances now mitigate damage exponentially (the same way armor does).

This patch contains a full realm wipe (all your shit is getting flushed suckers)

-All monsters now reflect 25% of damage from all sources.

Every orb drop / pickup in PoE is now correctly relocated to Bhavv's stash.

You are given a value equivilent number of wisdom scrolls instead.

"

tackle70 wrote:

- When you log out of your client, your character no longer immediately logs out, but now remains in-place for 10 seconds first and then logs out.


Wouldn't piss everyone off, but the QQ from hardcore players would be oh so delicious.

the tears and salt would flow forever, this seriously would be amazing.

My Hell Patch:

-- In Normal leagues, item tooltips now have a random delay of between 1s and 5s before appearing and will also automatically disappear after being displayed for that amount of time.

-- In Hardcore leagues, tooltips are not effected by this change but can only be viewed once. The item is granted another tooltip view on having any change applied to it.

-- All orb drops are now Casino Orbs that randomly have the effect of an existing orb with the probability of each orb effect matching current orb drop rates.

-- To protect the economy, legacy orbs will not be converted to Casino Orbs.

-- Wisdom and Portal scrolls replaced with FiftyFifty Scrolls that have a 50% chance of either identifying the item or creating a portal to a random Normal Zone. There is also a 50% chance that the item will be ported to a random location in that zone and will have to be retrieved.

-- Portal graphics effects in towns or hideouts persist after use or replacement until logout.

-- Players are cursed with Master Equilibrium and completing any mission will reduce reputation with a random master by the amount gained. This effect can also apply to the Master granting the original mission, although if this occurs the player will be granted the chance to perform the mission again.

-- Players using portals will occasionally be randomly ported to an instance being streamed at the streamers current location. They will not be able to interact with mobs or other players and will simply have to run back to the original starting point to port back to town.

-- Anyone complaining about these changes will be automatically informed that "RNG is RNG" by an in game MP3 voiced by a Ruler of Wraeclast supporter that will play on entering a new zone.

-- Players using RMT services will not be banned but will have their head slot item replaced by the new "CockAndBalls" MTX.