Make a patch note that will piss everyone off.

- you can not trade items with other players

This will be the last patch for Path of Exile. We made too much money from MTX, so we fired every employee and sold off the company to Blizzard for a massive profit. The GGG execs plan to celebrate this new chapter of Path of Exile by taking a year long vacation in the Bahamas. Long live Diablo 3!

-Dominus and Piety have finally figured out how to use Waypoints. They now randomly raid towns without any warning. Be scared exiles!

-The chance to drop T1 unique items has been increased by 300% of its current value.

That should piss off the elitist 1%er special snowflakes out there.

"

-The chance to drop T1 unique items has been increased by 300% of its current value.

Increasing an already abysmally low chance would not do much, sorry. Maybe if you added 2 zero's one would notice a difference.

MTXs are now league bound.
Dying in HC will move character MTXs to standard.

-Reduced Atziri' Boobs to 2

- Eternal orbs and Mirror of Kalandras will no longer drop in future temporary leagues.

- Buff skills can no longer be casted by proc gems.

- Critical strikes can no longer proc the elemental status effects freeze, chill, ignite and shock. These can now only be inflicted via skills with a chance to cause them directly, item mods, and passives on the skill tree. Passives granting bonuses to these will be buffed slightly as a result. This change does not apply to monsters or rogue exiles.

- Due to overwhelming feedback previous supporters packs are available for purchase again at 75% off original price.

- Uniques no longer drop. Instead they're only available from masters at level 8.

- GGG has bought the rights to the Treasure Goblin from Diablo 3. Now when a player dies, the goblin ports in and steals one piece of equipped gear, never to be seen again. In hardcore leagues the goblin takes the whole character.