The Touch of God (Templar origin story)

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Loate wrote:

“God’s path is winding, and only through righteous truth will our feet fall true.”

Nice work! The character relationships are rather intriguing. The one question I have is whether the above quote that the Templar learned was a subtle foreshadowing that the entire Templar order was corrupt, since the quote seems opposite of what it would usually be:

"Strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.''

This one is greatly superior to the scion story
Prose should be light and not doubly heavy and dense as to repeat its nature: which you've balanced excellently here

Thanks a lot !!

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FullCust wrote:

This one is greatly superior to the scion story
Prose should be light and not doubly heavy and dense as to repeat its nature: which you've balanced excellently here

One thing to keep in mind is that since I'm writing these in a first person perspective, the word choice and diction reflects quite a bit on the characters themselves (which will hopefully become more clear as I release more of the stories). An Oriathan noble will have had a much different upbringing and education than a starving street urchin. The goal is to have the structure of the story itself also tell a story.

We'll see if I succeed :)

Good work, keep it up.

The best origin story of all. Well done for the masterpiece!