The Touch of God (Templar origin story)
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That was deliciously detailed, lovely, so personal and so human.
Thank you so much for writing this! I would read as much as you write <3 |
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Awesome keep it up :)
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Amazing work! Great read..
Keep it up! |
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Oh that was great, i am looking forward to the other stories!
Ciao!
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*thumbs up* a good read... it would have been fun if the templar grabbed a strange gem instead of Firestorm. Gravicius endlessly phase running or something strange and rare =)
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That was a great read, thank you for fleshing out the lore, I for one really enjoy Path of Exile's backgrounds and stories.
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I'm wary of "fanfic"-style stories, but this was very good.
I have two questions/criticisms that are meant to be constructive. (1) Isn't Firestorm a blue gem? (I realize it's not explicitly stated that the gem found by the templar is the "active" gem employed by Gravicius in the subsequent fight, but that sequence is given enough attention/detail that the connection appears intentional.) (2) I was really blown away when I read " I thought that was beautifully written. But it began to feel gimmicky when you used a nearly identical construction describing Dominus: " I want to avoid giving the wrong impression, so let me reiterate: These critiques are minor. The story was excellent, and I look forward to reading more! |
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How does the Templar go from "Virtue gems are an abomination against god" to "well, everyone else on wraeclast is using them so I might as well, too"?
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" No worries, I try to avoid repetitious phrases as much as possible but sometimes one slips through. I'm a big fan of the 'eyes as windows to the soul' technique of description, so that's generally where I miss it :) " That's something I'm hoping to slowly reveal throughout the course of the seven stories, though it will depend if it lines up with GGG's vision or not. |
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Thanks, OP. I enjoyed reading your story. Looking forward to your next installments. I agree with the previous poster about why the Templar used the gem from the zombie on the beach when he was so opposed, but you addressed that I suppose. Maybe when faced with an existential crisis the Templar decided God wants him to live to carry out his quest even if that means embracing the gems? Also, as someone mentioned, firestorm is blue (unless it was vaal firestorm (which doesn't exist (yet?)) with souls already stored?). Just nitpicking here. Excellent work.
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