Silly Microtransactions

Now, I know that GGG has been aiming for "cool" microtransactions (Lightning Scorpion, Spark Spiders) and ones that fit the mood of the game (Fiery Visage, Extra Gore), and I understand that they probably will not take anything out of this thread but...

Let's make up some silly microtransactions for GGG to think about, as well as just to have fun imagining!


Skill Changes:

Rain of Random Objects from the Kitchen (Rain of Arrows): Complete with forks, plates, ladles, blenders, and seasoning racks. Strangely, all the knives were already out being used by someone....

Golf Swing (Sweep): Your weapon turns into a golf club, and the heads of any enemies killed during this attack go flying off in the appropriate direction. Also, for a brief period afterwards, your character wears pants that don't even go with themselves.

Gas Attack (Chance to Flee): Food in Wraeclast is neither nutritious nor tasty. Also, it gives pretty bad gas. Sometimes characters add a little flatulence to their repertoire, which apparently works wonders as the enemies seem to run in terror.

Rabid Kitty (Blood Rage): You transform into a towering quarter meter tall feral feline. And if you happen to use flicker strike, this is how you look.

Russian Doll Totem (Totem): Throughout its duration, your totem progressively gets smaller.... (created by: deadrook)

Pizza (Trap): Because who can resist a hot, delicious, oven-baked, p-- *death gargle*. Comes with different toppings depending upon what gem is placed on it.

Giftbox (Trap): Damn. That wasn't really a pizza up there. But at least they gave me a consolation prize: this pretty wrapped gift. Now I'll just unwr-- *splat* NOT AGAIN! (created by: Crossflip)

Clothesline Tackle (Shield Charge): You throw your shield on the ground and slide on it, extending your arm to the side. One unlucky customer is going to lose their head from your massive bicep. Recommended Class: Ranger, who shouts, "How do you like that, bitch?" every once in a while when it connects.

Smeagol (Devouring Totem): A ring falls where you cast the totem, from which Gullom also appears. He runs around, grabbing corpses and eating them, meanwhile singing, "So juicy... SWEET!" When the totem is normally destroyed, he shouts, "My precious is lost!" and runs away.

Gear Affixes:

Hockey Mask (Helm): The perfect compliment to your butcher knives, axes, and chainsaws for when you want people to know what you are without knowing who. (By the way, WTB high ilvl chainsaw, pst) (created by: Wittgenstein)



Serious Ideas that happened to come up during the process of this thread:

Skill Changes:

Rhoa Possession (Shield Charge): You charge forward with the spirit of a rhoa, whose presence can be seen in a horrifying visage trailing behind you.
(Adds the silhouette of a rhoa to your charge) (created by: Crossflip)

Ethereal Transfer (Blood Rage): Your rage cannot be harnessed by the mortal realm alone. You cross into the spiritual realm, slaughtering your foes from beyond the grave.
(Turns your character temporarily into a spectre) (created by: Crossflip)

Gear Affixes:

Miscreation Spines (Bow/Wand): Piety's mad experiments infect your weapon, but the spines you now shoot out are wickedly sharp and just as deadly as before.
(Replaces your projectile attacks with those of the Tentacle Miscreations) (created by: reimur)


So post your own personal silly microtransaction effects. I posted only skill changes, but other things would be fine. I'll post the best ones on this front page.

For discussion: how would you feel about having humorous microtransactions in game? Do you think they would ruin the atmosphere of the game too much, or would they just add another fun thing to buy in the microtransaction shop? Would you actually purchase microtransactions like these if they were available?

Doesn't fit PoE aeshetic.

"

Shippal wrote:

Now, I know that GGG has been aiming for "cool" microtransactions (Lightning Scorpion, Spark Spiders) and ones that fit the mood of the game (Fiery Visage, Extra Gore), and I understand that they probably will not take anything out of this thread but...

I think the whole point of the thread is for fun....maybe you forgot to read the first few sentences?

When you drop totems, they come out in stages like this, yes they start doing damage / intended purpose instantly but just do this after a few seconds.

"

deadrook wrote:

When you drop totems, they come out in stages like this, yes they start doing damage / intended purpose instantly but just do this after a few seconds.

Spoiler

That is freaking brilliant! :D



And, yeah, this thread is mostly for fun. But mkmaddage is okay in mentioning the aesthetic. I offered that form of discussion here toward the end of my post.

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Zalm wrote:

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Shippal wrote:

Now, I know that GGG has been aiming for "cool" microtransactions (Lightning Scorpion, Spark Spiders) and ones that fit the mood of the game (Fiery Visage, Extra Gore), and I understand that they probably will not take anything out of this thread but...

I think the whole point of the thread is for fun....maybe you forgot to read the first few sentences?

"fun" goes in the off-topic forum.

"

ReZar wrote:

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Zalm wrote:

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Shippal wrote:

Now, I know that GGG has been aiming for "cool" microtransactions (Lightning Scorpion, Spark Spiders) and ones that fit the mood of the game (Fiery Visage, Extra Gore), and I understand that they probably will not take anything out of this thread but...

I think the whole point of the thread is for fun....maybe you forgot to read the first few sentences?

"fun" goes in the off-topic forum.

unless it deals with the game. Then it goes in general discussion. Fun dealing with dirt bikes goes into off topic. Fun with the game goes into general discussion about the game.

If anything, this should go to suggestions.

"

deadrook wrote:

When you drop totems, they come out in stages like this, yes they start doing damage / intended purpose instantly but just do this after a few seconds.

Spoiler

This. I'd like a "golden shower" mod for rain of arrows, it already looks halfway there.

"

WiztardOfBoz wrote:

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deadrook wrote:

When you drop totems, they come out in stages like this, yes they start doing damage / intended purpose instantly but just do this after a few seconds.

Spoiler

This. I'd like a "golden shower" mod for rain of arrows, it already looks halfway there.

gross.

I wouldnt mind seeing a Zombie change to have them wearing tuxedos. That would be fantastic.

"

reimur wrote:

they should make an animation for split arrow that makes it look like those titty bitch projectiles. i'd buy the fuck out of that

Thats a first....I havent heard them called that.

They are called Tentacle Miscreations btw.