Funny Jokes and memes!

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A mother of three daughters is going out, leaving her three teenage daughters at home. Before leaving she reminds them of the house rules, no parties, I will be home by 11.

So she goes out and comes home between 10:30 and 11, the house is in good shape, no apparent parties, and all the girls are upstairs in their rooms. She goes up to check on them. she approaches the first daughter's door and calls to her, but all she can hear her laughing hysterically, decides she is probably on the phone listening to a good joke, so moves on. As she approaches the second room and calls out she can hear her daughter sobbing, is tempted to check on her, but thinks better of it and decides she is watching a sad movie, or just needed a cry. So she moves on to the third door, and it is quiet, she calls quietly and gets no response, so decides she is asleep and just goes to bed herself.

In the morning, the first daughter comes down, and her mom asks her why she was laughing so loudly, and the daughter says 'it was too small it was tickling me'. The mom is caught of guard but before she can ask further her second daughter comes down. Mom asks why she was sobbing so much last night, was everything ok? The daughter replied 'I am fine, it was just too big and it was hurting me'. The mom whipped around ready to question them both further when the third daughter comes down. The mom greets her and asks her why she was asleep so early? The third daughter answers 'oh, i wasn't asleep, but you taught me not to talk with my mouth full.'



edit: oh you said funny. i got nothing.

not sure if this one has been said or not. Also it's a tad bit offensive.

What do pink floyd, kurt cobain and princess diana have in common?

For those struggling to give that special someone a gift they will always cherish, here is an inspiring video. The Perfect Gift

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Dropbear_Victim wrote:

not sure if this one has been said or not. Also it's a tad bit offensive.

What do pink floyd, kurt cobain and princess diana have in common?

Spoiler

their last big hit was the wall.

I rofled, shared it at work and they said it was fucked up... meh...

"Bro, do you even lift??"

This one is a bit dirty.

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VictorDoom wrote:

Here you go, from Frankie Boyle, my favorite comedian: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RM8EVIbNxk4

(its a joke, in case some easily offended american is going to watch it)

offended? nah but it really wasn't that funny. heres a good Micheal Jackson Joke

this is pretty offensive too. you've been warned



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