Divorsed and using Poe as a relieve of depression..

Divorsed with 1 kid , she ran off with some dud , and im using Path of exile as a stress relief.

Could use some tips to where nowdays people my age ( 40) date..

Most of the days i feel like nothing matters anymore and nothing brings me joy.

The literally only thing still interesting to me is building toons in this game.

:(

I think you need to search for something that you want to be your purpose.

I know building a character in PoE is fulfilling, but you will need more that that.

I went down the road of self-improvement to improve my joy and outlook on life. Lost a lot of weight and built strength at the gym, started reading up on subjects that sounded interesting to me, cut out nearly all conventional entertainment(pretty much any new media), and weather permitting I spend more time outside.

I don't have a child, but I think teaching them good morals and pushing them in the right direction could be very fulfilling and bring immense joy.

There are only two types of pain: The pain of action, and the pain of inaction.

When I was going through my divorce, I was blessed with three things:

1) my ex was in a different country, so the process was mostly remote;

2) we didn't have many shared assets, having lived in pretty much poverty for years;

and,

3) I didn't have the internet where I was staying back home.

So what I really had was distance. From her, from our life, and from almost everything else. I played single player games like Warcraft III. I wrote, god so much, most of it shit. I had one awful birthday, the first alone in five years, where I thought my life was over. All my friends had jobs, careers some of them. Degrees. Partners. Not all of those at once, but at least some of them. I had a divorce that so often felt like a mistake because at least I'd had someone, a bedroom in a house I'd never known, living with two parents on the verge of their own extremely bad divorce. No job, no car, and a laptop with no internet. Life couldn't get any worse, surely.

LOL, I was 24.

Life got worse. And better. And worse. It went on. And I was grateful, am grateful, that I didn't have the internet then. No external forces pushing or pulling as I tried to figure out what 25 and beyond would be like.

There's your TL;DR: support is important, and online can only provide the beginning of it. If that.

I also used PoE as a relief for depression, many years later. But this time, not the death of a relationship but a combination of an actual death, death of purpose, and death of routine. Much worse. Did it work? No. Oh, I felt good immersing myself in the world of Wræclast, throwing money at its devs to make this awesome ARPG as good as it could be, making a guild, getting to know so many people who loved PoE as much as me, if not more so. But none of that actually helped. It just provided an escape from the reality of it all.

Distractions are good when you're down. But they need to remain distractions and not become sources of depression themselves. This is why self-medicating through crisis is never, ever good. And I do consider the way PoE gets into your skull, your brain, a form of self-medicating. Same as any other game that can take over. I've seen people use WoW the same way. It's much worse when it's an online game too, because then you're exposed to the uncaring masses. On any given day, you might be on the edge and some callous shit might call you a noob or a fuckwit or whatever else. They have NO IDEA how vulnerable you are...and it's not their job to, either. It's yours to not put yourself in that position to begin with.

There is nothing about PoE that is relieving. It is an intense game designed to stress the player on a number of levels. The reward comes in using that stress to overcome its challenges. I would no more recommend a person play PoE when stressed, or depressed, than I would suggest someone with light and sound sensitivity take a job at a casino.

I might be wrong. I'm certainly projecting. There may be a personality type that can healthily and productively use PoE to get through emotional distress or psychological duress. But such a personality type wouldn't, I think, feel the need to make a post asking about it.

As for the dating? Yeah, no fucking clue. I'm 45 as of a week ago and have a partner. We understand one simple fact: life is better with each other than without. If anything were to happen to her, I would just be single from then on. I have friends in their 40s using apps to date, and they do alright, some pretty interesting encounters. My father, who I believe is now 72, has recently found a partner in an old high school friend, whose husband (also a friend of my father's) passed a good 6 or 7 years back. If you're looking for companionship, that you can find.

Especially if you come to the table without what can easily look like an addiction to a computer game.

Can write better than what Charan said but I could maybe advise to start doing something like BJJ-Grappling to release stress and meet new friends.

BJJ community is full of awesome people of all gender.

My only caution against a physical outlet that involves sparring is if you're not sound mentally and emotionally, you might end up hurting someone else. Far worse than, say, hitting a tree or screaming into a pillow.

I've only a handful of years experience in that scene, and I was a lot younger, but I saw this. Time and again. A five minute meditation session before stretching and warm up isn't enough to leave the demons at the dojo door.

But as a basic distraction and energy dispenser? Yeah, anything physically taxing will do it.

It's why I'm now fat and happy. Forever. Chan. ^_^

First things first before you look to start dating - get yourself in a good head space. If you're not doing well, a relationship is not going to improve that and you won't be giving your best self to someone else either.

So, find some form of activity or hobby that you enjoy and find rewarding. Find some way to interact socially with other people. Hey, if you're not a super social person then I'm not suggesting you surround yourself with a thousand loud extroverts, something more restrained is fine, but it's important to interact with other human beings in the real world.

I'm a big advocate also for physical activity so look for something that combines the two. Mixed netball, Yoga classes, Dragon boat racing, there are limitless options out there.

I'd also recommend making a few appointments with a therapist. It's not about diagnosing your problems and making you feel bad, they'll genuinely help you come up with a plan and giving you some techniques to set you on the pathway to success.

Don't immerse yourself in PoE, it's an addictive drug along the lines of alcohol, meth or similar to gambling. It's a way to ignore your problems and will only give you new ones to add to the current issues. Not only is it not helpful, it's actually detrimental to a good head space.

Then, once you have some balance back in your life you'll find it easier to meet someone. That person will also be interested in your character because you'll have lots of stories to tell about the times you played Netball, tried Yoga and then went Dragon boat racing. Who knows, you might even meet a like minded person during those activities.

Married when I as 23, divorced at 28.
Moved to another province to create physical separation.
Got back into daily stretching and exercising which helped.
Took me ~2 years to sort myself out.
Had no kids with #1 thank goodness.
Played a lot of Unreal Tournament (yes it has been that long).

I am fortunate to have a number of good friends who supported me and introduced me to #2 (22 years and counting)

Can't really comment on dating these days (obv).

Sure, I'm sad, alone, depressed....

But who cares, at least this game knows what I really am: GODLIKE!

Look for social groups, clubs, or organizations that align with your interests. This can help you meet like-minded people and expand your social circle. Engaging in activities with others who share your passions can provide opportunities to connect on a deeper level.

In addition to offline activities, explore online communities and forums dedicated to your interests. Platforms such as Reddit, Facebook Groups, or specialized forums offer opportunities to connect with people from all over the world who have similar passions. Engage in discussions, share experiences, and seek advice within these virtual communities.

When searching for online couples counseling, consider platforms or websites that offer virtual counseling sessions tailored specifically for couples. These services provide a convenient and flexible way to access therapy from the comfort of your own home. By utilizing online platforms, you can connect with experienced couples therapists who specialize in relationship dynamics and can help address the unique challenges you and your partner may be facing.

I'm sorry to hear about the divorce (and apparently you are on probation now). Surely you have the right to see your kid(s) tho?

Not married myself, but single and struggling. Life can be hard, and health is a tough thing to lose. Don't have any great advice really, but there are good pieces in the above posts. Recently I tried out golfing with a group of people. It was very difficult technically, but quite fun as well. I look forward to trying it out some more. Gets me out of the house and to see other people, and both are positives.

Rock climbing (indoors) was fun too. Not as difficult as it looks, as long as you take the easier routes. Something that can give you a feeling of accomplishment or 'mastery' is good.

If you truly have mental difficulties (some people use the word "depression" very loosely), then I recommend to see a therapist. It's still associated with taboos I think, but the main thing is that it can help. Get different perspectives and some coping techniques.