Yeah ok, this is my "required reading" piece for all blokes, and on topic,
It's famous, so maybe some of you folks have read it before -- I hope so!! -
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I still don't know why Sallie and I bothered to go to that party in the forest slope above Aspen. The people were all older than us and dull in a distinguished way, old enough that we, at forty-ish, passed as the occasion's young ladies. The house was great -- if you like Ralph Lauren-style chalets -- a rugged luxury cabin at 9,000 feet complete with elk antlers, lots of kilims, and a wood-burning stove. We were preparing to leave, when our host said, "No, stay a little longer so I can talk to you." He was an imposing man who'd made a lot of money.
He kept us waiting while the other guests drifted out into the summer night, and then sat us down at his authentically grainy wood table and said to me, "So? I hear you've written a couple of books."
I replied, "Several, actually."
He said, in the way you encourage your friend's seven-year-old to describe flute practice, "And what are they about?"
They were actually about quite a few different things, the six or seven out by then, but I began to speak only of the most recent on that summer day in 2003, River of Shadows: Eadweard Muybridge and the Technological Wild West, my book on the annihilation of time and space and the industrialization of everyday life.
He cut me off soon after I mentioned Muybridge. "And have you heard about the very important Muybridge book that came out this year?"
So caught up was I in my assigned role as ingénue that I was perfectly willing to entertain the possibility that another book on the same subject had come out simultaneously and I'd somehow missed it. He was already telling me about the very important book -- with that smug look I know so well in a man holding forth, eyes fixed on the fuzzy far horizon of his own authority.
Here, let me just say that my life is well-sprinkled with lovely men, with a long succession of editors who have, since I was young, listened and encouraged and published me, with my infinitely generous younger brother, with splendid friends of whom it could be said -- like the Clerk in The Canterbury Tales I still remember from Mr. Pelen's class on Chaucer -- "gladly would he learn and gladly teach." Still, there are these other men, too. So, Mr. Very Important was going on smugly about this book I should have known when Sallie interrupted him to say, "That's her book." Or tried to interrupt him anyway.
But he just continued on his way. She had to say, "That's her book" three or four times before he finally took it in. And then, as if in a nineteenth-century novel, he went ashen. That I was indeed the author of the very important book it turned out he hadn't read, just read about in the New York Times Book Review a few months earlier, so confused the neat categories into which his world was sorted that he was stunned speechless -- for a moment, before he began holding forth again. Being women, we were politely out of earshot before we started laughing, and we've never really stopped.
full piece here
Either you are one of the majority (ugh, I hate to say it, maybe it's a slim majority lol) who do this, or you're not. It's real simple.
I'm with Rebecca Solnit and dislike the word mansplaining, as fighting insult with more insult isn't right when some men are fabulous and, it's not constructive.
Last edited by erdelyii#5604 on Apr 25, 2019, 7:00:21 PM
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Posted byerdelyii#5604on Apr 25, 2019, 6:56:39 PM
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Boem wrote:
So all i see is biological preference (men like things, women like relations) playing out in real time like one would expect.
Relations are all very well, but all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
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Posted byerdelyii#5604on Apr 25, 2019, 7:47:14 PM
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"
erdelyii wrote:
"
Boem wrote:
So all i see is biological preference (men like things, women like relations) playing out in real time like one would expect.
Relations are all very well, but all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
Just like real life, most of the good stuff happens between the poles not on top of them.
Peace,
-Boem-
Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes
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Posted byBoem#2861on Apr 25, 2019, 8:12:31 PMOn Probation
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No median, equator or striptease joke, pffs no fun erd.
As for the "mansplaining" text. What if a person just substitutes any genderless character internally with the one most related to himself.
The real kicker would be, next time she talks to him again would he still behave like the book was written by a man, or would he have updated his internal framework to match reality.(good-faith and lack of bigotry)
Didn't read the entire thing so don't know if that happens later on which might justify the conclusion being portrayed.
Peace,
-Boem-
Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes
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Posted byBoem#2861on Apr 28, 2019, 3:18:04 AMOn Probation
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Boem wrote:
No median, equator or striptease joke, pffs no fun erd.
Nope, why would I do that?
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Relations are all very well, but all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
What I meant was ...
Last edited by erdelyii#5604 on Apr 28, 2019, 10:38:58 AM
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Posted byerdelyii#5604on Apr 28, 2019, 8:48:27 AM
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they discovered a new crab did you hear?
from fossils -
Last edited by erdelyii#5604 on Apr 28, 2019, 10:39:33 AM
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Posted byerdelyii#5604on Apr 28, 2019, 9:25:48 AM
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That's a lot of edit.
:)
I'll close the door and shut the lights behind me.
Have some nujabes and hopefully some good weather to enjoy it to the fullest.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xZY8VJHqU4
Peace,
-Boem-
Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes
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Posted byBoem#2861on Apr 28, 2019, 11:15:47 AMOn Probation
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Yes, it was. Editing junk is the order of the day.
Thanks Boem, you have a good day too.
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Posted byerdelyii#5604on Apr 28, 2019, 7:43:09 PM
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