My build path's/skills are meh, drawing is mediocre at most. But my writing (as told by my grade 12 teacher) is quite impressive and above the level of the rest of the class. However I do hope you guys find flaws in my writing in order for me to improve so please. If you do find any (of the many) faults in my short story, please message/reply to me so I can further improve.
So without further ado, please enjoy the story of the first, Breach Walker.
Spoiler
The Breach Walker
"
An idea, and idea that pushed the world beyond its limits. That forced my Templar brethren to throw me into exile. A pathway to a uncharted realm inhabited by the unknown. I was the first to brave these lands, and in time bested them. Now a beacon of power, constantly grasped by those who discarded my ideas. Now exile, I offer you the journey I once took. Seek out the glimpses of my newfound reality, conquer its inhabitants, claim their bountiful rewards, and in perhaps in time; challenge for my grasp on this land. For I am Judias, the first breach walker.
From our humbler beginnings, mine started in the shadows behind Dominus in the lands of Oriath. Quickly rising in the ranks of the templars to be placed right by his side at the mere age of 27. Our star gazed fixtures on immortality fused us together into a bound I thought to be unbreakable, I was wrong.
Countless months studying the interconnections between maps viewed very few results. I knew our research has nearly broke the ice that lead to a vast lake of power until that silver tongued viper appeared upon the pyre.
Vinia, was her name. A practitioner of thaumaturgy that went strictly against our ways, and so was to be rightfully burned to the stake like the bloody witch she was. Dominus however took her false ideas of an empire, built and burned long ago in the wretched land. With little hesitation he pardoned her from the fires she slow longingly deserved. Instead, continued her practices under his watch, as we started our journey to Wraeclast.
Day upon night we argued in the bowels of the boat as it lurched back and forth, throwing us along with it. His newfound obsession clouded his mind of all logic, becoming more aggressive in our entanglements. Three days it took for him to lose all sense of reality, in his absence Vinia order the soldiers to throw my countless hours of work to the bottom of the sea, with me accompanying it. Dominus took the ideas of a radical witch above me, his advisor of the order,his partner throughout the many years,his, friend?
What will happen next!? Will he find a way to create a connection with this unkown land(ofc), will he conquer its lands for himself(maybe), and will he finally get his revenge on piety (=/ nah.) Well I have until January 17th I believe to fully complete this story until its judged so stay tooned!
Also,(do this spoiler after you finish the short story above) I have some encounter quotes if the protagonist ever meets the exiles we so love to play.
Spoiler
Witch
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I've knew a witch like you. However this time you'll play by my rules.
Templar
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Dominus has sent another one upon me? Very well, be sure to tell "god" my regards
Duelist
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This isn't an arena boy, no honour, wealth, or lust. Just an endless oblivion where no one, will ever chant your name
Marauder
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Your Karui ancestors arn't here brute. But don't worry, I'll help you reunite with them
Ranger
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You have no right to hunt from these lands! Haven't you learned that in Oriath?
Scion
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Do you still wonder who you are? I wondered that too, come let us find out together
"b-b-b-b-b-but these quotes don't make sense if this breach walker guy lets you come into the breaches, why is he so hostile when you go.. in the breaches. Give me time i'll show you why in the short story
Last edited by hunter299 on Dec 13, 2016, 8:12:27 PM
Troll submissions will not be considered for the random draw prize.
Could someone confirm or deny validity of my drawing in this competition ?
Drawings made in paint are quite special in this term i tried to create something what would resemble PoE (Devoto Devotion, Headhunter, UUl's Kiss, Death Door, Verusso Battering Ram with 18 Endurance charges) but my drawing skills could deform a bit PoE reality.
