New player take on gear stats/affixes

I have more than 150 hours in the game and to me it's extremely hard - almost impossible even, to change/upgrade my gear in poe 2

there's just too much RNG in the game, if i change a single thing in my equipments, the build I've been using for all these hours stops working and i have to rethink everything again

I'm spending more time on the trade site than actually playing the game now, but there's not much use because it's almost impossible to find the same gear but with higher stats

The pain points I'm having are mainly rarity & attributes on gear, if i didn't have to care about these 2 I'd spent more time actually playing the game instead of searching for gear