CaptainLance9 Ate My Son! Tune into My Stream Until Justice is Served!

I never thought I’d be writing this, but here we are. CaptainLance9, yes that CaptainLance9, ATE MY SON. You read that right. One minute we're watching a wholesome Path of Exile stream, and the next, my son is gone. Poof! Vanished! Devoured by CaptainLance9’s insatiable appetite for... followers?

I know, I know, you’re thinking, "But how? Why? Was he at least delicious?" The details are murky, but rest assured, justice will be served, with a side of sweet revenge!

So, what’s the plan? I’m streaming EVERY SINGLE DAY over at VariableValor's Twitch Channel until CaptainLance9 steps up and says the magic words: “I’m sorry for eating your son.”

Expect the unexpected:

Dramatic reenactments of the fateful day

A play-by-play analysis of how CaptainLance9 managed to pull off such a heinous act

Special guests including a forensic streamer and a psychic (who specializes in lost viewers)

Epic Path of Exile gameplay that will make you forget all about CaptainLance9’s dietary indiscretions

So, come join me on this quest for justice. Follow, subscribe, throw in a few bits for the therapy fund, and let’s get CaptainLance9 to finally apologize!

Together, we can bring my son back... or at least get a heartfelt “sorry” from a fellow streamer.

back at it again

today's the day

Clearly War never changes

yesterday was no good but today is follower 1 I can feel it

he can't keep getting away with this

Today's the day we get em

JUSTICE

39 out of 39 people are scared