Magic the Gathering players might understand

If you have been playing Magic the Gathering (MTG) long enough you probably have that one "mega rich" friend. They usually come in two forms but of course there are always variations and etc but here are the two main types:



Type 1. The Modern Psychopath
This super rich friend plays Modern. They probably like TRON a lot or some insane net deck worth multiple thousands of dollars, they also tend to get extremely angry or frustrated when playing (winning or losing).



Type 2. The Butcher behind a gentlemen, the Commander Whale.

This player is incredibly friendly and welcoming. They are often seen helping new players and might even have a full circle of ripe minds absorbing their knowledge.

Such a friendly Teddy Bear...or...?

You see them helping a first time commander player, they purchased a 20 dollar commander deck and are excited to learn how it all works!

The Teddy Bear face melts away...what is left is a grotesque and charming boney smile. They slam down manavault turn one and combo off playing most or all of their hand of artifacts

THE PLAYER IS OBLITERATED AND LAUNCHED BACK IN TIME, THEIR CARDS START WARPING BEFORE THEIR EYES AND THEY HEAR A FAMILIAR VOICE....


Yugi: Hey Joey! Earth to Joey! Hey, are you in there? It's your turn.

Joey: Ummm...

Tristan: Oh, isn't he cute when he's thinking?

Joey: Hey Tristan, Yuugi here's teaching me how to play Duel Monsters.

Tristan: Drooling monsters?

Joey: Duel Monsters, you nimrod.

Tristan: Sheesh.

Téa: They've been at it for hours. Joey's starting to get the hang of the game, but Yuugi's like an expert.

Joey: Okay Yuugi. It's time to duel.

Téa: See, each card has an attack number and a defense number. The first player to eliminate the other player's life points wins the duel.

Joey: Pretty good move, huh Yuugi?

Yuugi: Yup! Pretty good move, but not good enough.

Joey: What?! Thanks a lot. A card that powerful totally wipes me out.












Chris Wilson is a type 2 player and I want him to obliterate me in commander with a deck of misprints. anyway hope you are having a nice day I love scourge byeeee <3
"Life isn't a problem to solve but a reality to experience." - Frank Herbert
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Last edited by wallsh1#5671 on Oct 28, 2021, 8:07:18 PM
Last bumped on Nov 6, 2021, 4:30:25 PM
how its related to mtg? it can be any other stuff...
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I'm a type 2 player in reverse.

I have a whole bunch of extremely cruel commander decks that I'll lend to less well off friends of mine then watch as they make everyone else in the pod absolutely miserable.

The most fun to watch is definitely the WB Kambal Deck full of tutors and disgusting enchantments. (Axis of mortality is such an amazing political tool to have on the board.)

I do occasionally also join in the fun myself, but I prefer to play goofy jank decks with fun flairs to them. My favourite of these is my colourless commander deck where I start the game by shuffling 5 cards face down and asking one of my opponents to pick a card. All of the cards are the 5 legal eldrazi gods (rip original emrakul). The card they picked is my commander and the other 4 get shuffled into the actual deck. It rarely wins but I get to use a bunch of old super jank artifacts like Illusionary mask, Mana web & Power matrix.

Yeah though, screw type 1 players. Modern sweatlords that only play one super meta deck and get salty every time things don't go their way don't make for a fun LGS at all.
Souls along a conduit of blood, from one vessel to the next.
Illusionary Mask loool

Phase out all my crap, Decree of annihilation. Always fun
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