Pride and Generosity does go together

From what I have seen in life, generosity and pride sometimes go together. My friend D will do anything she can to help me but feels awkward about accepting the smallest token of appreciation or ask me for a favor lest it should be considered owed. It makes her feel like her generosity is being calibrated and paid what it was worth to me.

The truth is, I don’t have any way to measure her kindness, less be able to compensate equal or more of its value to me. I merely strive to strike a balance between an adequate expression of my gratitude and finding a gift that is thoughtful without being over the top.

And D is not alone – there are many other like her. Generous to a fault but too proud to accept another’s generosity. They often seek someone they can continue to give just for the joy it brings them. They would like the recipient to accept their largesse with good grace but not to do anything more tangible – it diminishes the happiness they derive from unconditional and often over-abundant giving. It is up to us who receive to accept more than we can out of generosity or let our pride come in the way of someone’s source of happiness.

Oh crap, this isn't about sharing phys auras with your allies, is it?

You have to be super discreet how you pay it forward. In many cases, you already know how to show your appreciation, but the person just wants to avoid drama, doesn't want to set an example of obligation, or tends to lead a simple and unostentatious life and honestly doesn't want for many material things.

It might be wisest to just accept their generosity with quiet dignity and wait for a time when you can help them in return, but in an anonymous, low-key way that won't draw attention or create a sense of obligation.

It's also okay to say "no thanks", especially if you feel their generosity is wasted on you or can go to better ends to someone else; or if this person is one of the rare unfortunate folks who makes a spectacle of generosity to shore up some insecurity or try to make people like her better. It sounds like you're fairly certain this isn't the case.

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Twitch_Kopogero wrote:

OP,

Humans are known for many things but generosity is not one of those things. It's all based on interest, some just know how to hide their intentions better than others.

There are two ways how you can take all the money from someone, through force or love and at the end you'll know indeed how "generous" someone is toward you when they have absolutely no use (interest from you).

When you are at your lowest and weakest then you'll get to know those you've loved and cared for the best and I have bad news for you, you'll be disappointed at what you'll see.

So, the best you can do is keep anyone around who can make your life easier, on a (mutual) co-operation. When that stops or when their plan to use and manipulate you fails they will be the ones to move away from your life, you don't have to do anything. So, until that happens just do your part to share the bills equally.

This is not the MGTOW community lol